Searching for answers, I just can't find.
I'm starting to realize that waiting hurts. You always find yourself waiting for something that sometimes, you start to think if what you are waiting for is worth it in the end. But you always feel a tug, or a pull that makes you feel like you just have to wait a little bit longer, kind of like a 'hold in their girl, it's almost over' kind of feeling. Then you just know that it has to be worth it. Why would your heart make you wait for something that won't be worth it? You think that when you don't feel that tug anymore, that's when you know that you're ready to stop waiting. But then, aren't you just waiting for that tug to stop pulling?
You can wear your heart on your sleeve, or you can put up ten feet high boundaries. No matter what, you'll still get hurt. There's always going to be people out there that hurt you, and you are going to end up hurting a few people too. And if you try your hardest not to hurt somebody, you will end up being the one that's hurt in the end. But that doesn't mean you should go around hurting people, because that doesn't make you strong. I think what makes you strong, is learning from who hurt you, and being able to forgive it. Cause than you realize the mistake made, and you will be healed from whatever hurt that mistake caused.
Everyone wants somebody to hold their hand through rough times it's just easier to get through them with somebody by your side right? Well how strong are you..? Do you need somebody to hold your hand to be able to get through that one rough patch? Isn't when you are able to go through those rough times alone, heal, and look back at them as character and strength builders, that you know your strong? When your strong enough, to do them alone than your able to hold somebody's hand that is also strong enough. Yes, you will end of helping each other out during some rough patches, but you won't depend on that one person to always be there to make you happy. Cause, they might not. They might decide to just get up and walk out of your life, or they might change, into somebody not strong enough to help themselves through the rough times. So, really you shouldn't wish for somebody to be there to hold your hand, you should be wishing for the strength that you need in order to hold somebody's hand.
There are tons of people out there that say that everyone's their best friend. Do you even really know what that means? A best friend is somebody who doesn't judge you, doesn't lie to you, is always there for you, who you always have fun with, and somebody who knows you and does all those things because it's you, and they wouldn't change who you are for anything in the world. Friendship is a road with two sides, and you both have to work to be able to keep that road smooth and clear, so it doesn't come to an end. You both need to keep building on the road, keep it going. Betrayal is definitely not in the list of things that make your best friend, your best friend. I don't know about you but I wouldn't want a 'best' friend who says one thing to your face, than goes and does or says another to/with somebody else. It's lying, and lying my dear, is something that catches up with you in the end, and it's kind of like dominoes, once it starts, you just can't stop. You need to create another lie to cover up your lie, and another lie for that one, and it just goes on. Why would you want to do that? Especially to someone who you're supposed to be best friends with. Like I said, that's not in the description of a best friend. The road becomes bumpy, but of course your going to put up with it, cause you have to love your best friend for who they are, even when they lie right? It will of course continue, because every decision you make, makes you into the person you are suppose to be. Sometimes, that person is a backstabbing manipulative bitch. The once paved, smooth road of fun, isn't even a dirt road at all. It's not even a road, it's a wrong turn, and you regret not turning back a long time ago. So what do you do? You decide to admit you have no clue where you are going, you get out your map, and you find yourself another best friend, but this time... you find a better one to fit the description. Someone true, someone who doesn't know the meaning of betrayal. Someone who you can really call a best friend, and is not just some labelled, fake road that led you to the middle of nowhere.
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life.
